The Prodigal son

The Prodigal Son
Luke 15:1-2, 11-32

 

One day a young fella called Jesus

were eatin’ a meal outside t’pub,

when taxmen an’ sinners surround him

to listen an’ share of ‘is grub

 

He were suited they wanted to ‘ear ‘im

an’ ‘appy to share a few chips,

but Pharisees, scribes and t’learned,

stood scowling, their ‘ands on their ‘ips.

 

It weren’t the “done thing” at all then.

to sit and break bread wi’ t’proles.

So elders and t’others high up in t’temple

Weren’t impressed wi’ young Jesus at all

 

He carried on telling ‘is stories

an’ ‘elpin’ all t’sick an’ all t’poor.

For-givin’ t’sinners, raisin’ up t’dead,

for leprosy, finding a cure.

 

His topic that day were t’prodigal son

a tale that is told to this day.

Of a man who were blessed wi’ two ‘ealthy sons

‘til one o’ t’two lads ran away.

 

It starts wi’ t’youngest approaching ‘is dad

an’ tappin’ ‘im up for ‘is share

o’ t’family estate and belongin’s

Which could make ‘im a millionaire? (Shekels)

 

A request that were somewhat uncommon

in times when wealth were concession,

to heirs when your clogs ‘ad been thoroughly popped.

Not when t’kids wanted t’brass for a session.

 

As dad were a bit of a softie

he agreed to cough up for ‘is lad,

so divvied up all of his riches,

‘is family thought he were mad.

 

T’son were soon up and down swankin’

wi’ t’trappings of ‘is new found wealth

upsettin’ ‘is family, friends and ‘is Dad,

an’ so legged it for t’good of ‘is ‘ealth

 

He set himsel’ up in a land far away

wi’ a villa an’ pool made for swimmin’

he gambled on t’racing wi’ camels an’ asses,

drinkin’ wine an’ pursuing loose women.

 

It weren’t too long before t’money were gone

‘is ‘ouse and ‘is pool re-possessed

t’Bailiff had took all ‘is pots and ‘is pans.

All he owned, were in what he were dressed.

 

He ‘adn’t a job, he couldn’t sign on,

he’d squandered ‘is gifted nest-egg.

When t’depression affected t’land he were in

‘is only resort were to beg.

 

A local land owner were needin’ a “nand”

an’ offered a job tendin’ swine

he hadn’t an option an’ took up ‘is task

an’sharin’ their swill as they dined.

 

Soon though, he come to ‘is senses,

aware of ‘is life’s disarray.

T’shepherds who do an ‘ands turn for mi dad,

all ‘ave digs an’ three squares a day.

 

I’ll ‘ave to go ‘ome an’ say sorry,

for blowing dad’s brass on conceit.

I’ll try thumbing a lift on t’next caravan

an’ be back ‘ome in Accy tout suite.

 

He were spotted when makin’ ‘is way up to t’farm,

‘is father stood grinnin‘ wi’ joy.

“A day that I’ve kept in mi ‘eart” spluttered dad

“th’ealthy return o’ mi boy!”

 

Arrivin’ back ‘ome he were ‘umble

an’ begged that ‘is jaunt be forgot

“I’ll work as a “nand” on your farmstead,

as for wages, i’ll tip up all t’lot!”

 

‘is father were right glad to see ‘im

and dressed ‘im in t’best gear he ‘ad

he ordered ‘is fatted calf butchered

sirloin steak were on t’menu for t’lad.

 

When t’barbie were goin’ they partied

an’ opened t’best ale they possessed

eldest lad ‘eard the clamour an’ wondered

what’s th’occasion an’ who’s t’surprise guest?

 

On t’way up to th’ouse he were askin’

What t’do were about an’ who for?

He’d been tipped off, that ‘is brother were back

when he bumped into dad at t’front door.

 

“What th’ells goin’on?” He demanded

“I’ve ‘eard that you’ve killed t’fatted calf,

i’ve been graftin’ an’ livin’ on fried egg an’ chips,

he’s on sirloin,… you’re ‘avin’ a laugh?”

 

“he’s squandered ‘is readies on gamblin’

‘igh livin’ an’ ‘arlots an’ grass.”

“I’ve done everything that you’ve asked dad,

and not ‘ad a smell of thi brass!”

 

“Nay lad, don’t let us be rowin’” said dad.

“What’s mine is all yours that you know?

Your brothers repented, come ‘ome to amend.

Please, no more contention o’er t’dough”

 

“Your siblin’ were dead to us, now he’s alive,

Star-crossed, but now he’s bin found.

Extravagant, feckless” father pronounced,

“but he’s ‘ome now so free ale all round!”